I self sabotage on the regular. It's a permanent fixture. I'd walk around the city drinking from trash cans , abandoning all I have. I don't even have my SSI documents. Unneeded. My chosen representatives in the medical and psychology fields were incompetent to push through my paperwork. Some medical staff are more willing to push through correct paperwork to obtain disability.
Idk, I don't think I'm an incel in the way you describe it. I think I'm self imposing a life that appears from the outside to be of incel status. But I am not at a point where I think I should be involving myself with some woman not knowing all my retardations. I'm not able to be connecting with women sexually. If they see through it, their friends will. And I'm not a slick guy with words in the company of other women telling her friend not to date me. It's happened before with Jennifer, and what am I going to respond. Hell No. I'm the shit. I'm good ol Jason the guy who can take a bigger dildo than you in the ass. I don't take care of my hygiene, prefer not cleaning out prior to anal, but disgusting all the same, maybe some smelly chick is interested in making a nasty stink in a bedroom for others to come in and whiff as a joke. I think any woman would need to be an addict, currently drunk, or hopefully a nympho, nut I don't pay for it. And don't. Won't. Not in that way. In other buy drinks dinner drugs, just because. But not escort. I'm not doing that. It wouldn't even be funny. Her being so confused about what the fuck is wrong with this guy. Probably quit in the early stages. Lol. No, I can't do it that way. I'm not at that level where I buy my women for sex cashwise. You need some sort of skill there. Or money, lol.
An incel would qualify for me if I ever pursed a relationship with the opposite sex. I have been able to find female counterparts in mental health facilities and drug treatment facilities. Where it's a closed, mixed environment. And eventually some crazy as me female begins some friendship that sometimes becomes sexual. I mean, even as looney as myself. I've met women at the lobby for weekend jail sentences and one ended up drunk messaging me to come over at midnight. Give me Xanax right away to chill nerves, drink some beer, play games, watch movies in her new bed. And then my plug ended up at the 25yr good looking girl I met in jails home one night I brought vodka and crown because nobody will get drunk with her. Lol just meth. So I said I'll get drunk with you. And passed around the bottle. My plug didn't like that, being forced to shot whiskey or vodka. They were crazy. Everytime her boyfriend was in jail she'd fuck this other guy. And then her sister and her boyfriend are chasing us around back roads in st Francis with a baseball bat. And finally at the resolution. He's like hey man. Yeah I fucked your girlfriend. And he was like. Ok. Alright. And it was stupid. But my plug told me if I ever get busted to point as Steve…Her sister's boyfriend wannabe drug dealer. Whatever that means.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
I'm not in any position to be soliciting women sexually. I'm on a gay drug that gay guys use. However. Idk. Angela. Do I attempt to reconnect? She is easy paced. No worries about sex or the subject with her. She like eating pussy
But was also held captive for a couple of years in Arizona or New Mexico by a looney ex.
Also each of the 3 women I first met while using dope did offer to have sexual contact with me without me having to really do anything except make it a fun environment, with money or cars or hotels or drug allowances. Even another one right in the middle of one.
How do I write a character’s physical description without it feeling unnatural and clunky? I’m able to describe their hair and body relatively easily because my writing puts emphasis on small movements and fidgeting, but I can’t describe faces.
Incel? I'm not too sure. I suppose I could attempt to meet some woman and see if I can get my b.o. body odor next to her and give her head. Is go for free head. Long as you can do it. Go ahead. Not sure who doesn't want that? But it's better with women. And I like to be lied to about them having an orgasm, especially if you can get 2 knocked out right away. Then why does it take so long for the 3rd? But it's only #1 for her sake. No, that's just with a familiar partner.
I need an AHRMS worker, new psychiatrist, not a primary in the rural suburbs, and new professional support network. Yeah $2300/mo disability. Is that a future life worth exploring? Do I continue to do 1 or 2 month stints at my career. Do I find a horny female lawyer or other well off professional that likes goofy weirdos and sex? Idk. Contessa Knutson at breezy point? She like me.
